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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful

Alhamdulillah. I have had to survive the week without a phone due to my treacherous slippery fingers. Today marks the end of my forced detox (InshaAllah) but I thought I’d share some of my thoughts/observations before reconnecting with the online world:

  1. What’s the time? Oh.
  2. Let’s google that. oh.
  3. Does anyone miss me?
  4. Have they even noticed ??!
  5. How do I plan to do anything? (not everyone has facebook it seems)
  6. *Uses telepathy to tell friend I’m outside her house*
  7. I NEED A CAMERA!!!!! (new addition to our middelburg family: Lumos & Nox – most adorable kittens I’ve ever seen)
  8. Actually, this isn’t so bad hey
  9. Overslept. Like, I should be at work right now.
  10. Can’t text my boss to say I’m late.
  11. Okay, 100% done with this.

On a serious note, I have a social media problem. Every time I ever thought about a detox my second thought was to vlog about it. I think living away from home has automatically made me want to share more on social media, to feel part of something more. But why? Do those likes mean anything at all? Or is it a desperate attempt to make sure people don’t forget about me? Like, “Remember me! I exist!”

So this was a coincidental opportunity to disconnect. It was difficult and honestly, I think I failed. I posted and messaged more on Facebook which was counterintuitive. A good friend (one of the best actually) reminded me that we all need to learn to love ourselves more, because we’re the only ones we have to live with for the rest of our lives. It’s important to be okay with being alone but being phoneless didn’t just take away the external validation of whatsapp statuses or instagram likes, it also took away the human factor of being connected, checking up on people and them checking up on you. This week taught me to appreciate that so much more. Alhamdulillah for all that we have, and how easy it is to stay connected.

Someday I’m going to do a proper detox, 2 weeks or more with not even Facebook to appease me. But first, I should invest in a  watch. And an alarm. And maybe a map.

Jumuah Mubarak beloveds.

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

 

Finding Allah

This is how it’s supposed to be.

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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful

It seems since I left university I’ve been experiencing a revolutionary Islam. One that aligns with all the ideals I’ve always held to be true. One that centers first and foremost on love. Loving your Lord, Loving His Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wa aalihi wasalam, loving yourself and loving every creation around you for Allah’s sake.

The loving yourself bit seems to be a challenge.  Self-doubt and self-criticism is necessary but can easily get out of control, Shaytaan knows your weak points man, and he’ll push you down with negative thoughts about yourself.

I’m trying to learn to love myself more and the reality is that loving myself is loving Allah, Most High, and Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa aalihi wasalam. The best way to love myself is to adhere to my true purpose. I, along with all of creation, every one of us, was created to worship the One, All-Loving God.

When we fall short of that true purpose is when we hit troubled waters. Our emptiness breeds negative emotions which further drives us to seek refuge in Dunya. Bad habits spiral out of control, and we just can’t seem to win at anything. A darkness sets in. But there’s no darkness. There’s an infinite source of light just beyond the blindfolds we’ve put on ourselves, with our own hands, shielding us from the light. Subhanallah.

All you have to do is remember. Remember who Allah is, Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa, remember why you are here. Keep reminding yourself. Everyday.

This post is a reminder to myself. Everything I wrote here is inspired by a webinar with my teacher Shaykh Muhammad bin Yahya Al-Ninowy, May Allah bless and preserve him (the quote in the picture is from there too). I urge you to watch it for yourself. If you want a flood of positivity and motivation this is where you should go: The Sufi Path of Love , like now!

May Allah allow me and all who read this post, and all of creation, to live in love, to fulfill our true purpose. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa forgive us all for all the times we fall short of it. Aameen.

Jumuah Mubarak beloveds.

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

Finding Allah · South Africa

Be the Stars

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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful
I was fortunate enough to attend Madina Institute South Africa’s Ubuntu Knowledge Retreat at the Lion and Safari Park this past weekend. The retreat covered Imam Al Ghazali’s text “Ayyuhal Walad – My dear Beloved Son” over 2 days.
My first instinct was to write about everything I’ve learned this weekend. But that’s exactly what this weekend taught me not to do. Knowledge without practice is useless information. So I’m going to tread lightly a little bit, and hopefully, I’ll share some of the gems we’ve learned as I go along. For now, I’ll leave you with the parting words from our teacher Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Al-Ninowy (may Allah bless and preserve him) before his final dua (paraphrased just in case I did not remember it correctly) :
“Don’t count the darkness. The night sky can be illuminated by a single moon. 
Be the stars, be the moon, Spread light in the darkness.” 
–   Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Al-Ninowy; 2017
    UBUNTU Knowledge Retreat,    South Africa
The retreat left me motivated and hopeful. In the face of all the turmoil, all the diseases infecting our Ummah and the world in general, it’s easy to get despondent. It’s easy to start to lose a little hope.
Here’s a reminder not to. We all have the capacity to shine bright and forceful through our adherence to Allah’s command and the way of Our Prophet Salallahu Alaihi Wa Aalihi Wa Salam.
Be the Stars. 
Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”
Trust Allah, Yasmin
Finding Allah

Trust Allah, Yasmin

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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful

I have a serious problem of documenting everything. EVERYTHING. But then when I’m feeling a little reflective it’s easy for me to delve into the notes I’ve typed out on my phone (much like this one) and draw strength from Yasmin of the past. Sometimes, I think she had things so much more figured out. Sometimes, I feel sorry for how lost she was.

It’s a reminder of how up and down this journey of ours is. I usually have a note of how despondent and frustrated I feel followed by a post describing the mercy Allah has bestowed upon me.

This week, okay a couple of weeks now, I’ve found myself in several tough situations. I’ve been tested from every aspect: career, finances, personal, emotional, all of them, but that’s not the point of this post. I know I’ve got it easy, Alhamdulillah.

I look back at the number of notes that I have reflecting on how Allah, Al Lateef, has given me whatever I wanted, without even asking for it. And now I’m sitting here asking myself “why are you even worried?”

Allah, in His infinite, all-encompassing mercy, has always taken care of me. Allah, Praise and Glory to Him, has always given me more than what I’ve asked for. Sometimes, I didn’t even ask Him, it was just a longing in my heart which was then granted and manifested by Adh-Dhahir, the One who is Manifest. Al-Hafidh has always protected me, Al-Kareem has always been generous to me, Al-Mujeeb has always answered me.

My dear cousin nephew (it’s a blurred line in Indian culture) once sent this text:

“Allah has wants, and you have wants. If you do what Allah wants, He Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa will give you what you want. But if you do what you want, you will struggle and never truly get what you want, you’ll just keep wanting.

And at the end of it all, all that will happen is what Allah wants.  So do what He wants, return to your Lord willingly in a state of consciousness, before He sends His angel to return you to Him.” 

I pray Allah brings ease to all of our struggles. I know we all have them. We’re facing heartache, stress, indecision, and uncertainty. We only have Allah to protect and guide us. May Allah allow us to surrender to Him, Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa, to be patient and content, to be steadfast in our worship, and to be grateful when He grants and when He deprives. Aameen

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى كُلِّ حَال

“Praise be to God, in every circumstance”

Keep on keeping on my dear beloveds.
Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”
Ramadaan is coming
Finding Allah

Ramadaan is coming

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As this Holy month approaches us, I find myself not just preparing myself for its blessings but also for the unfortunate side-dish of judgement. You know, those people who play game of thrones (as Shaykh Murad calls it) and points out everyone elses flaws or so- called “hypocrisy” from their high chairs (an image more suitable than a throne, because they are quite juvenile). I’m talking about those people fond of the term “Ramadaan Muslim” (sigh).

But I wanted to give a shout to “Ramadaan Muslims”, who recognise there’s something wrong and are trying to fix it even if it’s just for a month.

People will tell you you’re a hypocrite. People will say you’re insincere. People will question why 11 out of 12 months you’re neglectful of salaahs, or why you abandon your headscarf, or why you party or smoke or drink (sad reality amongst our youth innit). People will wonder why in this one month you’re almost unrecognisable,  why you act and even look different. Why your opinions and priorities have completely shifted.

Let them say it. Let them wonder. Most people that are saying it are envious that you had the courage to embrace the holy month despite all the crap you got up to before it. The easiest way to justify their continued less-than-halaal behaviour is by claiming you’re a hypocrite and they’re just honest with who they are (maybe they are, good for them). But most of the time the people saying it feel like they’re being judged and its always easiest to divert judgement on them by judging others.

I was called a “Ramadaan Muslim” all through university because it was the only month I’d wear my head scarf. Even some of my close friends called me that. Man, did it hurt. It made me question myself and my intentions. It made me wonder whether I should water down my efforts in Ramadaan so that I’m not such a double standard. It made me feel like my efforts were futile and just an act and I was wasting my time.

What I reminded myself everyday is that Ramadaan is meant for change. It’s the annual spiritual detox for the believer, a chance to recollect and reset, an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth. We really don’t have time to analyse the acts and worship of our family and friends. It’s a month for us to recognise our own weaknesses and work towards correcting them. We have this opportunity to be better than we were before. The ultimate goal is to get closer to our Creator, we can’t afford to be distracted by the deeds of creation.

We shouldn’t ever judge people for trying because we have no idea what their intention is or how sincere they are. We shouldn’t ever, ever discourage people from doing good deeds. Just so you know, Alhamdulillah,  I’ve been wearing my headscarf since last Ramadaan. It’s not perfect, I’ve slipped up, but it’s the best I’ve done in my life and it started in Ramadaan. This could be the year it sticks for someone, this could be the Ramadaan that changes them, so let’s not slow anyone down with our own opinions.

Blessed Ramadaan all, I hope its filled with all the answers you’ve been looking for, I pray we all come out as kinder, more grateful and steadfast muslims!

9 (10) days left ya’ll!

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

Lion
movies/books/art · South Africa

Lion

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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم 

This post isn’t a review and if you’ve yet to see the movie I advise caution as this may be a bit spoilery (I tried to keep it to a minimum). After watching the film I was overwhelmed by emotions and felt the need to expel them somewhere, so why not here.

Lion is a film about a boy, Saroo, who gets separated from his family in India and gets saved through getting adopted by an Australian couple. Years later he is plagued with memories of his birth family, who have no idea how safe and happy a life he’s led. And so he begins to search for his home to answer all these questions running through his head.

Based on a true story.

As soon as those words come across the screen it already elicits an emotional investment from the audience. 4 hours after seeing the movie, it’s still consuming my thoughts, I’m not quite sure how to put it down eloquently.

For me, the most jarring realisation that I had after watching the movie was that nothing is impossible. As humans we’re so blinded by practicality and logic. We don’t have faith anymore. This movie taught me to have faith. That anything is possible because God is capable of anything. Knowing this was a true story immediately told me that everything that I would watch actually happened by the will of Allah (barring the exaggerated bits made for Hollywood). Immediately this wasn’t just a story, but an example of Allah’s, Subhanahu wa Ta’aala, mercy. For me, whilst I will never fully comprehend the gentleness of Ya Lateef,  here was a true life story to remind me.

I don’t know these people, I have never met them. But watching their struggle unfold was overwhelming. I was forced to contemplate my whole life, the opportunities I’ve had, the mercy I’ve been exposed to. My family tree extends as far as my grandfather. Beyond that, we don’t know where we descended from. He moved to South Africa with my grandmother and then 10 year-old uncle and toddler aunt. I imagine the four of them on a ship, unsure of what’s awaiting them but hoping that it is better than what they left behind in India. Scared but hopeful. Undoubtedly, the life they led here and what’s become of my family is incomparable to the life that would have been had they stayed. My siblings and I often wonder what if. What if our Papa didn’t make that brave move? What if they didn’t get on that ship? What if we were still in the gaoon (village) ?  We’ve seen pictures of  our grand-aunts and my father’s cousins, their homes, their lifestyles. Some of my immediate family have visited too. The contrast is astounding.

We have lived a western privileged life in South Africa, with our spacious homes, multiple cars, education, electric stoves and appliances, holidays and everything else we wanted accessible within a blink of an eye. We have been so ungrateful.  It could have been so different, but Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’aala inspired my grandfather and allowed us, his descendants, to have so much more than my Papa could even imagine. Alhamdulillah.

Back to Saroo’s story. He could have lived his whole life in Ganesh Talai, but Allah allowed him to have more. A comfortable life in Australia, yes a difficult one in which he did not truly understand his identity; but a good life, surrounded by love and filled with opportunities his birth mother could not have dreamed of. How merciful is our Lord?

His emotional struggle and his birth mother’s suffering of years not knowing where her baby was is another lesson. That good comes with bad. Heartache and sacrifice are often the foundation of something beautiful. Whatever hardship we may be facing today, in days or months or years we will see the benefit of that hardship. No suffering befalls us without reason. That reason is for something better to take its place, it may be to take us closer to Allah, or to make room for a better blessing from Him Subhanahu wa Ta’aala than what we thought we wanted; but with this understanding and complete trust in Allah, we can face anything this world throws at us.

I could go on, but I think this is a good place to stop. In short, God is merciful. Appreciate your life. There are people living the kind of lives we can’t even fathom. Every little thing you have was meant for you so be grateful to God.

Alhamdulillah

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

Allah loves you
Finding Allah

Allah loves you

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اَلسَّلاَ مُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Allah loves you.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded. We’re so consumed by the Dunya and its challenges. The temptations that we fall into, the guilt that consumes us, the difficulties we face: relationships, debt, work pressure, family pressure. These things get to us and get us down. But sometimes all we need to remember is that Allah loves us.

Everything that’s taking place around us is by His (SWT) design, and despite how we feel about our situation or how we feel about ourselves, there is one infallible certainty that wipes away all that self-doubt.

Allah loves us.

Alhamdulillah, its such a powerful truth and I forgot it; until I was on my way to work listening to Deensquad’s song (this post’s title), a halaal remix of Justin Bieber’s Let me Love You. I had heard the song a few times before but I actually listened to the lyrics this morning and let them sink in:

I always believed there’s a light inside the struggle and it’s beautiful, oh its beautiful.

Chasing a dream, hoping love awakes the soul and makes it spiritual, yeah its spiritual

Said if there is darkness today, tomorrow’s brighter let’s pray

You’ll never be alone, your Lord is around

Say ya arhammar rahimeen keep me on sirat al–mustaqim

And don’t you let go, you gotta hold your ground

Never give up, you won’t give up, Allah loves you

 

Life is getting hard,

You may have lost a job

You got a lot of bills and you blame it on God

Fighting with your mum

then you lose your calm

then you’re at a point when your faith is almost gone

Never lose hope coz you know Allah loves you

Always remind yourself theres a beauty in the struggle

You got the worse dress,

You want to cure debt

Say Bismillah, that’s the first step

Read about Muhammad’s life, he was so happy 

Even when the people used to throw stones at him (SAW)

The messengers of God did some great things

Yusuf was abandoned then he became king

Your Lord has your back that’s the honest truth

If kids in Gaza can smile, you can smile too

Time is sacred, never have it wasted,

Sabrun jameelun

Allah is with the patient.

Never give up, you won’t give up, Allah loves you

Every word of this song spoke to me, every word a reminder and reaffirmation that everything is going to be okay. The message is so necessary and so beautiful. But I know there’s a lot of debate about Deensquad’s music.

Haraam police are jumping on them every chance they get but before you judge how about this, how about we leave that up to God? How about, if we were really concerned about their method of da’wah, we make dua for them instead of sending them hate?

This is what I pray and if you have doubts about their music you should do the same:

“Oh Allah, most Merciful, Bless Deensquad with all that is good in this and the next world. Oh Allah if their music is something that displeases you then let me not love it and inspire their hearts to stop making it. Oh Allah, if their work is something that pleases you then let them never stop, and keep them patient in the face of all this discord. Guide them and guide us, bless them and bless us and let us only ever come near to what is pleasing to You.  Ameen.”

You can watch the lyric video, and their other remixes here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoHSAfxAMk8

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

“Loop julle Saam?”
South Africa

“Loop julle Saam?”

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I recently moved out of my mothers house after 23 years of being coddled. Now, where I come from is a small, sometimes backward suburb but we’re surrounded by the greater city of Pretoria.

I didn’t realise how much there is to appreciate about our Pretoria until I moved out: the people, the places, the food. The family. I moved to a smaller town called Middelburg (we refer to it as Middle Earth, because sometimes it really does feel like a strange mystical place of the past). Middelburg. Where I have 2 friends (okay that’s expanded to like 6 now). Where the only Halaal restaurant is  an inconsistent Pakistani joint (the food is SO bad). Where the place is a dead town past 2pm on a saturday. And where interracial friendships (let alone relationships) are a thing of astonishment.

Case in point:

Last week, my roommate and I went shopping at Woolworths. When my roommate went to the till to pay I kind of lagged in the background waiting for her. Noticing me hanging about, the cashier turns to my friend and says: “Loop julle saam?”  in curiosity. That’s Afrikaans for Are you guys together?  We both nodded a casual “yeah” not thinking of it. She, however, paused her cashiering trying to compute this. She was silent for a few seconds, staring between my white roommate and me and then she asks me “Indian Lady?!” in disbelief.

That’s the town I live in. In Pretoria, Gauteng or basically any major city in South Africa, interracial anything is not weird at all (and it shouldn’t be!) but here in the middle (i did, I’m sorry) of SA in small towns scattered through the plains, racial segregation is a subtle ever present condition. I get that races tend to group together towards people who look and act like them. I do it too. But here, it seems socialising with different races is a rare, awkward and abnormal thing.

We were actually shopping to get something for a braai (barbecue) we were invited to.  I was one of 2 non-whites and with my headscarf, the obvious non-christian in the room. But the evening was lovely and we had a pretty good time. There were some afrikaans jokes that completely sailed over my head but hey, I survived a night out of my normal zone and its up to me to do it again. Its up to us to break the mould.

One of my favourite verses of the Quran, and the one that has me astonished that racism in Islam exists is Surah Hujaraat (49) Verse 13:

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”

“That you may know each other”. Yusuf Ali’s translation emphasises this with “not that you may despise each other”. We were created different to love and learn from each other and it seems we, as people, as muslims, have lost sight of this message. In the current climate of the world it’s so important to remember this verse.

May God (Glory to Him, Most High) guide us all, to love each other not despite our differences but because of it. Ameen

Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā muḥammadi nin nūri wa ālihī
“O Allah, send salutations upon our Master Muhammad, the Light, and his Family!”

 

Featured image: http://laurenkim.co.za/corporate/travel-brand-south-africa-rsa/

Tuesday
Verse of the day

Tuesday

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ﻗُﻞْ ﻳَٰﻌِﺒَﺎﺩِﻯَ ٱﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺃَﺳْﺮَﻓُﻮا۟ ﻋَﻠَﻰٰٓ ﺃَﻧﻔُﺴِﻬِﻢْ ﻻَ ﺗَﻘْﻨَﻄُﻮا۟ ﻣِﻦ ﺭَّﺣْﻤَﺔِ

۞ٱﻟﻠَّﻪِ ۚ ﺇِﻥَّ ٱﻟﻠَّﻪَ ﻳَﻐْﻔِﺮُ ٱﻟﺬُّﻧُﻮﺏَ ﺟَﻤِﻴﻌًﺎ ۚ ﺇِﻧَّﻪُۥ ﻫُﻮَ ٱﻟْﻐَﻔُﻮﺭُ ٱﻟﺮَّﺣِﻴﻢُ

Qul ya AAibadiya allatheena asrafoo AAala anfusihim la taqnatoo min rahmati Allahi inna Allaha yaghfiru alththunooba jameeAAan innahu huwa alghafooru alrraheemu

Say: “O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Surah Az zumar (39) verse 53